Valentine's Day

It is Valentine's day and personally I am not a big fan. In fact I am on the train to see my family with the blessing of my fella. Sweetheart that he is, he gave me a gift last night without any concern that I hadn't got him anything!

Why do you have to be forced to think about your loved one or lack of a loved one and spend money on vastly inflated evening out? Or feel depressed if you're on your own? To me the most romantic and beautiful things are the little things, the unexpected moments of kindness or thoughtfulness. The moments when they aren't too tired or distracted from work or whatever and they really see you. When you share a laugh together. When you feel connected and accepted. Or the moments when they are tired and distracted and you are able to give them something whether it's a cup of tea, or just a smile of sympathy or a hug, a shared joke or just a bit of peace and quiet as a gift. And you don't need a partner for these, you get these precious moments with friends, family, colleagues and sometimes even strangers. And you can also give these to yourself when you take a moment to pause and breathe and feel however you feel, good or bad. And ask yourself what do I need? There is such kindness in this.

So don't wait for Valentine's day to appreciate your loved ones. You can do this every day. And appreciate yourself. And strangers too as who knows they may be your future best friend.

A lovely meditation for this is a loving kindness meditation. Wishing yourself well, wishing another well, wishing everyone well and happy. Here is my guided meditation:

And remember it is really not a problem if you don't feel love or kindness. These are qualities that come and go and we often don't have control over this. They are like a gift. And they can be cultivated and will grow into a lovely blossom of effortless increased happiness if you practice a little every day. As you walk to work or on the train. In the car (not doing the guided meditation here! but wishing the other drivers — whether they are good or bad at driving — happiness and good health). You can practice when you wake up in the morning, or when you go to bed. Or you can make some space to sit and breathe and wish yourself and others well for ten minutes every day. It will be the best gift you could give yourself.

Wishing you a very happy day!